Self-Disclosure

I have a feeling I’m going to be talking about my communication classes a lot. Which, if you think about it, has to be a good thing, right? Having a major I’m genuinely interested in and passionate about is exciting all in itself. So like I said, I’m taking this Interpersonal communication class which I absolutely love. People always tell you of those professors that make you want to jump out of bed and go to class, and not just because they have the harshest attendance policy on campus, but because you look forward to Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 9:00 to 9:50. I finally know what “those people” are talking about because those fifty minutes, three times a week, are easily some of my favorite 150 minutes every week. And this I knew would happen on the first day of class.

Every morning I walk into class, take my seat in the second row, smack in the middle, and as class begins no matter what kind of morning I have had so far, I can’t walk out of that class without a smile on my face. The class is full of two-seater desks, so my friend and I sit together and every time class is over I just turn to him, beaming and exclaim “I just love her.” He probably got the picture after the first class, or maybe even the second one. But after around ten classes we’ve had so far, it’s pretty impressive that I still feel the urge to exclaim that I love our teacher after every class. She’s fabulous.

So anyways, self-disclosure; it’s an interesting topic and something that is more personal than I ever really realized. Ironically we started talking about it in class the same day I started this blog, which is probably why I thought more about it than most of the other students in my class. I sum it up simply with; “it’s how much you open up to people, how much you tell someone about yourself.” I never consciously thought about how much I opened up, it was more if I had a story or thought to share I would share it. Which evidently makes me a pretty open person, which I guess is true…hence the blog.

But it’s more than that; it can be such a positive and a negative thing. I only tell all you great many followers of mine what I want you to know about myself and my life (technically called “impression formation” if you’re trying to learn something from this as well). But is this a true representation of myself? I guess that’s something you and I will have to find out with time. But so much of communication that we use nowadays is dependent on impression formation. We encounter less and less face to face interaction with our peers and even strangers every day. So what do you do to shape the impression you want to leave on people? What pictures do you post on Facebook? What posts do you leave on others walls? What information is presented in your “about me” section? Then even outside of Facebook, what bumper stickers are left on your car? What college t-shirts do you sport on the weekends?

To take it one step further, who do you self-disclose with? It’s a give and take relationship; you share parts of you with others to expect the same in return. It’s a risky business. It’s putting yourself out there for others to judge, create their own perceptions (the next topic we discussed in class), and decide if they chose to reciprocate or not. And if they do maybe that turns a stranger into an acquaintance, acquaintance into a friend, a friend into a best friend, and maybe even a best friend into a love. Or maybe you shared a little of yourself, to leave yourself vulnerable and instead they walked away. Like I said, it’s a risky business.  

100% of what you do and choose not to do is communication. And 100% of that communication or lack thereof is self-disclosure. So what message are you sending out? Are you who you perceive yourself to be?

"Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is." - William James.

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Erin.