I wish I was a writer

I wish I was a writer, like a real writer not a blogger. With words come power. I love reading something that makes me think, makes me feel. That's the power of words. I wish I had that.

I recently discover stumbleupon.come and have made "poems, blogs, and writer's sites", as a part of my "things I am interested in". I have quickly realized how uncreative and "unwritery" I am. My favorite site so far is oneword.com. You are given one word and in sixty seconds you have to write everything you think or feel about this one word. I love it. I get so excited and anxious about fitting everything I want to say into just sixty seconds. That's the beauty of it too. I think it makes me a writer, because it's at that moment when I am rushed for time that I'm not thinking about what I write but simply writing. Which is the beauty of being creative, it's not something you think about, but just do. I tend to think a lot which makes me a less creative person. Maybe creative isn't the right word, let's make it "artsy".

Artsy. Wow. If you ask anyone that has ever known me (especially my ex-boyfriend) they will laugh if you even put my name and "artsy" in the same sentence. I always like to pretend I'm artsy though. Like this one day two summers ago my ex-boyfriend and I had the whole day off (a rarity) and so we decided to paint with watercolors. By "we" I mean I saw them for 50 cents at AC Moore and knew they would come in handy sooner or later. It was a terrible idea, for two reasons. First of all this boy happened to be very arsty, like art classes, portfolios, self portraits, art competitions, galas, photography, awards, oil paintings, canvas and everything in between. And secondly, I was not. Not only was I not artsy, but I was very impatient with the fact that he was SO MUCH artsier than I was. That day he drew a beautiful waterfall, with various layers and different shades. I on the other hand think I drew a beach ball, maybe even a palm tree...yeah. I was done with that project in about four minutes...he was not. This was the last time I suggested an artsy project.

Well come October I started feeling artsty again. I should have known it would be a disaster. But it was one of my best friend's birthdays and I am a college student, so money is always tight. Well I decided that I would make her something (are you laughing already? because if not maybe you should be). Let's just say it is now well into March and she has yet to receive a birthday present from me. Sad, I know. Don't worry, she got lots of love on her day, but a physical present is still in the works.

I find myself going through these patters a lot. When i was little I used to hate yogurt. But somehow every time I went grocery shopping with Dad I was convinced that yogurt was the best thing and I just knew this time I would love it. Well I didn't. In fact this pattern when on for years, luckily I now actually like yogurt so maybe there's hope that one day I will be artsy too.

Maybe my creative/artsy side comes from elsewhere. Who knows where...just elsewhere.

"Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." - Henry Ward Beecher.

<3

Erin.